“Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” ~ Genesis 3:16
In the Old Testament, desire means much more than to merely long for, to ask for or to demand. In Hebrew psychology, the whole personality was involved in desire. Hence desire could easily become covetousness, leading to envy and jealousy, etc.When such sinful desire was given free rein the well-being of the whole community was endangered (Je. 6:13-15). The New Bible Dictionary, (Wheaton, Illinois: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.) 1962.
As you can see from the above Hebrew explanation, the well-being of the community of marriage is certainly threatened by what sin brought forth. The curse put on the relationship of the husband and wife was a direct result of sin.
A British novelist once wrote:
A complete woman is probably not a very admirable creature. She is manipulative, uses other people to get her own way, and works within whatever system she is in. Not a very pretty sight indeed.
This is the very essence of CONTROL. How often we laugh in our society that a smart wife is the one that makes her husband think he is in control, while all along, she is the one who is running the show.
In marriage, there can be a constant tug-of-war between the husband and wife. Often you find one of two scenarios: the wife manipulates and the husband becomes weak and spineless; or, the husband becomes a heavy-handed dictator, in order to keep his wife under control. Either way, there is no freedom. There is no ministry. Fear is the underlying source for each situation, seeking to maintain self-serving control at all costs.
If you are married and any of this sounds familiar there is hope for your marriage relationship. Manipulation and control are the direct opposite of FAITH AND TRUST. Our first place for faith and trust is in the Lord. Ask God to start you on a pathway of faith and trust in Him that abrogates the need to control and manipulate. Perhaps there is a long-term pattern that has developed between you and your spouse. ASK GOD TO BREAK THAT BONDAGE OF FEAR, and show you new and healthy ways of relating to your spouse. ASK HIM TO DEVELOP IN YOU THE DESIRE TO MINISTER, and show you ways to minister to your spouse. Have a discussion with your spouse using this very printout. DEVELOP A PLAN TOGETHER.
Founder & President of On Target Ministries